Triplethink: Internal memo from Big Sister

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Triplethink: Internal Memo from Big Sister

The Ministry of Truth (state religion section) has found it necessary to supersede doublethink in formulating its latest announcement.

So severe has been the criticism and defiance of the bishops’ initiative to ban prayer from churches that Ministry operatives have devised a new medium – triplethink – specifically for the pacification of prols confused by residual elements of ‘three-in-one’ mentality. 

The new communication reads:

1. The bishops have agreed in principle to a phased approach to lifting restrictions, in time and in parallel with the Government’s approach.

2. The bishops have agreed that the decision on the timing of when to implement the revised advice on ministers or worship leaders praying and streaming from their church buildings should be made by individual diocesan bishops.

3. The bishops were clear once again that this is guidance – not an instruction or law.

Ministry operatives are commended for conveying subliminal assurance

(i) that the first phase in the lifting of restrictions will be a consequence of Government policy, rather than a reversal of the policy of the bishops themselves,

(ii) that bishops are able to order incumbents not to pray in their own churches by referencing those subject to their decisions as ‘ministers’ and ‘worship leaders’ rather than rectors or vicars, and

(iii) notwithstanding (i) and (ii) above, that the bishops have always been clear in their own minds and made clear to others – even those they have threatened with disciplinary action – that their guidance is not a directive, nor enforceable.