In February of 2023, the first person asked me to consider running for the role of President of the House of Deputies (i.e. PHoD). The next election for the position will take place during the upcoming General Convention in Louisville, KY in June of this year. If the invitation to discernment had come from one or two individuals or from a special interest group or even a modest set of unhappy folks, I would not have given the request consideration, which was my initial response. Becoming PHoD has never been a goal of mine. If I had even imagined or wanted the position, I would have run for President rather than Vice President at General Convention #80 in Baltimore (2022). At that time, I genuinely wanted to support a layperson (rather than an ordained person) for the role of President, since the previous three terms the position had been filled by a priest. My feeling was that the tradition of alternating the leadership position between ordained and lay was equitable and desirable.
As the early weeks of 2023 turned into months of passing time, more and more people (independently of one another) made the same request, that I discern running for election for the role of PHoD. Some of these same faithful people also warned me that it would be challenging and costly for me to do so, that I would need to raise money for a “war chest” in order to wage a competitive campaign and get the most reach. I was advised by caring people that I would need to be prepared to endure character assassination, that prospects for my future career could be ruined if I were not elected, that if I continued a discernment for the episcopacy my loyalty to the House of Deputies would be thrown into question. One might ask why so many genuinely good, faithful, and dedicated people would hold such worries on my behalf and advise me of the need for such preparations. Are they melodramatic or crazy people? No, they are not. They are, rather, people who have worked for and in the church for many years in local, national, and international contexts of the church. In spite of the many frustrations and pains they have experienced over years of service, many remain dedicated to the work and mission of the church while some have needed to step away for the sake of their own wellbeing. As is unfortunately very common, many are in work situations where they cannot take the risk of speaking out publically because of very real personal and professional consequences.
For over a year, I have been engaged in discernment with people across our church about this question. This has been a weighty decision, and I do not take their cautions lightly. Many skilled and knowledgeable people whom I admire shared with me their concerns and hopes for both the governance and future of our church. Processing the frustrations and pains that people are experiencing is an important pastoral aspect of our conversations. Similarly, encouraging vision development and long-term goals for strategic planning contributed to a significant organizational assessment process for me. Taking the requests to enter into discernment seriously, I asked for personal space to discern until the fall of 2023. People are hurting, and I recognize that I am one among them. For me, vocational discernment requires sincere vulnerability and allowing others to peer at me as one to speculate upon, imagine possibilities, ascribe every worst and best possible motivation to, critique, enjoy, get to know, view as a living Rorschach test, and ultimately have the choice to either reject or support. The choice is the important part.
For me, discernment can feel like falling in love – it is at once both joyful and terrifying. Whenever I have entered into prayers of discernment, an image arises in my mind in which I see two visions of Christ, one imposed over another – something like a lenticular photo in which one or the other image is clearest depending on how the photo is tilted. In my discernment vision, I see the resurrected Christ superimposed over a crucified Christ. Depending on any given moment, one or the other is in view. When I perceive both at once, I know in my bones that no matter the outcome, I must show up.
I’m not certain that I will be elected as President of the House of Deputies at this year’s General Convention, but I have no doubt that I must participate in the conversation that gets us there. I am convinced that the House of Deputies needs a choice. As a House we need to enter a communal time of discernment about who God is calling us to be as church, about how we are to govern and lead through challenging and transformational times, and about what qualities and skills of leadership we will need in order to incarnate God’s love authentically one relationship at a time.
If we want a church that seeks truth and justice, then it is incumbent upon us to:
- proactively develop safe and intentional opportunities for truth telling
- to see and touch the living wounds among us in our church that even now are being inflicted
- to care about the human development and spiritual wellbeing of our staff and the diverse volunteer members of our governing bodies
- understand that when we say nothing we are not keeping the peace, we are keeping the tension
- to promote leaders who are skilled in emotional intelligence; who are competent in leading crucial conversations in moments of conflict; who take personal responsibility and are intentional about their own accountability; who promote and communicate transparent processes; and who include even dissenting voices and challenging perspectives into decision making processes – the outcomes of which affect us all
For me, the full gambit of leadership elections that will take place during General Convention are about equipping our church organization with leaders in every aspect of our governance who have the ability and capacity to cultivate healthy corporate culture. They must have a genuine and lasting commitment to closing relational divides and building bridges that are based in mutual respect. We need compassionate and skilled leaders of every order who understand that our corporate journey is not about controlling for self interest but about empowering all of us for authentic community.
Through the lens of over 30 years of experience in organizational assessment and development, I am disheatened by what I have experienced and observed over the two years that I have served as Vice President of the House of Deputies. Behind the prose and photos that are public facing, there are unaddressed internal dynamics that in my professional opinion are contributing to an unhealthy corporate culture, jeopardizing our ability for forming the collaborative relationships necessary for effectively moving forward in the crucial work of The General Convention. I am in awe of the staff and volunteer members of our commissions and committees who are doing extraordinary work and maintaining a goal oriented focus in spite of relational challenges, but there are those who are exhausted from expending the amount of emotional labor it takes to function within compromised management systems. Additionally, there are some who are simply striving to stay out of harms way. I call this survival isolationism, and it is indicative of an organizational culture that is unsafe for personal and professional growth. The added messaging from leadership that we are “loving and faithful together in this work” is not especially in touch with our current corporate reality.
I have never had and do not now harbor an ambition to become the President of the House of Deputies – this to me is too narrow a goal. What I do have is an ambition to create a healthy church. I believe that what is at stake at this time in our corporate life is more than how we govern, more than our program reach, more than curriculum development, more than resolving to do all things in all places for all beings, more than any given social justice issue, more than our fiduciary viability and obligations, and more than becoming Beloved Community. While all these things are vital elements of our mission and values as a church, there is for me an overarching concern that encompasses of all this and unites all of us. When we walk on into the eternal life that is to come and thereby transition from being elders into being ancestors, what will be crucial to future generations is what we are prepared to do right now, the legacy we leave to them. What are we willing to hold ourselves responsible to create in our day and with our votes and with our courage, for this is the guide by which they will judge us and will either be a foundation for their renewal or a burden they must leave behind. My friends, what exactly are we waiting for to create? We must do justice NOW, we must be bold NOW, we must use our voices NOW, we must demand organizational health NOW, we must stop strategies that harm and manipulate NOW, and we must elect and hire and call and support healthy leaders NOW.
The outcome of our elections is not about me or any other candidate. It is rather about those who will inherit this church. Whatever the outcome, I am running for President of the House of Deputies NOW, because I want us all to experience a healthier organization NOW. The next discernment is NOW yours.
In Christ’s Peace,
The Rev. Rachel Taber-Hamilton,
Vice President of the House of Deputies of The General Convention of The Episcopal Church
P.S. If any deputy is interested to run for President or Vice President of the House of Deputies, the required application for background checks is open and available until April 24. Click on this link to navigate to the application page: https://gco.formstack.com/forms/house_of_deputies_background_check_application_2024
