Women have been leaving the church at rising rates for more than a decade. For years, men were the primary defectors, but for the first time in history, women are walking away even faster.

Six years ago, I began noticing this shift. The pandemic accelerated the trend, and the numbers have not recovered.

I stumbled upon this data while researching the opioid crisis—tens of thousands dying each year, many from “deaths of despair.” These are people caught in generational patterns of addiction, mental illness, broken family systems, and hopelessness. Having lost my mother-in-law to addiction, I often wondered what might have saved her—or my husband and his sister from the neglect and trauma of their childhoods (which I wrote about in Leaving Cloud 9).

As I pored over research, one correlation stopped me cold: those who attended church weekly had dramatically lower rates of addiction, depression, anxiety, divorce, and loneliness. They enjoyed stronger marriages, deeper friendships, better health, and richer community lives. They were more generous and more connected.

Within this beautiful framework God created is a wellspring of life and flourishing. So it broke my heart to see women walking away from it. I know many didn’t leave casually; many left because they felt unseen, unsafe, or exhausted. But did it have to end there?

My passion to speak into this grew quickly.

The Church as an Anchor

I’ve attended church my whole life—first at my Grandma’s Assemblies of God congregation with pews and hymnals, then at a modern non-denominational church where we wore jeans. My mother never failed to get us to that blue building on a hill, rain or shine. Despite the downfalls of 90s evangelical culture (purity teaching among them), the good far outweighed the bad. I also know that’s not true for everyone, and some wounds run deep. I don’t minimize that.

Still, church was never optional for me. Every time I moved—to college, to a new city at 22, to Washington, D.C.—the first thing I did was find a church. It became my anchor in every storm. Small groups and Bible studies buoyed me through eating disorders, depression, and alcoholism. In every moment of straying, I was drawn back to the House of God.

Specifically, in dealing with a drinking problem, my church was there for me every step of the way, something I wrote about in depth in my new book, Freely Sober: Rethinking Alcohol Through the Lens of Faith.

Yes, the Spirit dwells with believers at all times. But there is something uniquely powerful and wonder-working about being among the Body.

As “citizens of heaven,” the church is an embassy of our true home—a place where we get to step inside eternity while still on earth.

Returning to the Numbers

When I realized the real, measurable benefits of consistent church involvement, I wanted every woman to know. That passion led me to write Reason to Return: Why Women Need the Church & the Church Needs Women.

Read it all at Honest to Goodness