This is about what it is like for me, a normal Church of England Vicar/Rector who believes in the historic definition of marriage whilst the LLF process continues.
I admire and agree with those who engage with LLF to defend the biblical teaching of what marriage is, and what expression of sexuality delights our Lord. As for me, ministry as a Vicar/Rector is full on all of the time. It takes just about all of me to lead services, preach, give pastoral care, raise money, conform to safeguarding requirements, lead people to a living faith in Jesus, recruit volunteers and look after them, study, engage with schools, carry out civic duties, provide spiritual nourishment to existing Christians, etc, etc, etc. You get the picture. I feel such responsibility to my parishioners, and the demands are so great, that I would be serving them less if I campaigned regarding LLF.
I also believe in spiritual authority, and not to be a lone wolf minister who pretends to be under spiritual authority but operationally is not, and that is one of the difficulties I, and possibly many others face. We have the majority of diocesan bishops and our archbishops voting for something that is against what is written in the bible and is therefore sin. It is also against canon law.
Of course, our bishops and us clergy are quite clever, and although this can be dressed up as not changing doctrine with all sorts of wording, it really does not fool us. I think they know that. We all know that this is far from a non-essential matter. Just look at how much time has been given to it in General synod! Further, our bishops talk about transparency, and then obtain legal advice, which we pay for, and then don’t share it.
I, and probably many others know that these manoeuvers have little to do with obedient Christian faith, and much more to do with maintaining the institution within canon law and historic power dynamics. Us clergy are hard worked and vulnerable, but not stupid.
For people like me, it is fairly straightforward to look to the majority of our bishops and archbishops as those with institutional authority. But it really is not possible to look to, or submit to them as having spiritual authority. They may be nice people, talented people, powerful people, but not to be looked to as a God ordained shepherd of the clergy.
Due to the huge effort that is being put into the LLF process, I reckon that the institution will be maintained, and that the numbers of clergy leaving the Church of England will be minimised. But apart from the obvious cost of that, they will lose clergy without losing them. Clergy will resign in their hearts without resigning in practice. They will not look to many of their diocesan bishops as shepherds, but as workplace managers only. That is becoming, in my view, a very deep corrosive change in the Church of England that is well underway right now.
